Crafting · New Hobbies

I Dug A Hole (Or Yard Work Is Hard And Everything Hurts)

A friend recently asked me why I haven’t included joining a gym as part of my “trying new hobbies” blog. So let me be clear, for everyone who doesn’t know me (and probably those who do as well) – I do not consider working out a hobby. Why, you may ask?

BECAUSE EXERCISE IS TORTURE.

Just wanted to make sure we were clear on that front.

The Garden

Moving right along, all plant-like things continue to grow inside, despite my cat’s best efforts to make sure that didn’t happen. I pretty much haven’t stuck to any of my calendars and have been avoiding transplanting my seedlings when I need to but they seem to be doing alright in spite of having me as their caretaker.

The good news though is that it’s been in the 70s and 80s for a few weeks now. (I mean in the long run, 80 degrees in April is probably a harbinger of doom for the planet, but for right now it means we get to do outside projects. So yay!) When we bought the house, it was obvious that the previous owners were fairly elderly and hadn’t been able to keep up much with taking care of the garden. As such, we’re pretty much starting from -10 in trying to de-weed all the garden beds around the house and get the creeping charlie under control.

I made a thing! (And Adam helped too, I guess.)

To start, I (aka Adam) dug up everything in the existing beds next to the house. Then I put down new mulch and installed a beautiful brick border all by myself (with help from Adam). The border lasted about 34 minutes before the invasive weeds in our yard started to poke through the mulch. (This is why we can’t have nice things.) Also, I just found out that not all bulbs are winter-hardy and they have to be dug up in the fall. What the hell, Mother Nature??? Fall is for raking. Not digging. (Both of which I hate.) Really wish someone would’ve told me that before I bought 100 dahlias and gladiolus at Costco.

The Patio

And since I would rather avoid digging as much as possible, we’ve also decided that this summer’s big project will be digging a giant hole. Oh joy!

I highly recommend deciding what you want to do with 8 million wheelbarrows full of dirt BEFORE you start digging. Otherwise it ends up in a giant pile that you just have to move again.

Adam and I have decided to install a patio below our 2nd story deck and because we hate ourselves, it’s going to be about 400 square feet. We also decided to ignore the advice of every single one of our friends and do all the digging ourselves. By hand. (Pro tip: Do it once to say that you did it and then never do it again. Heavy machinery exists for a reason. Mostly to make sure my body never hurts like this ever again.)

On the plus side, our only expense has really been material. (A LOT of material. No joke, we ordered 5 tons of stone and 6 tons of gravel.) That being said, this patio will last forever and everyone will be forced to sit on it anytime they come over to our house. And they will enjoy it, dammit!!!

Yep. Still just a big hole.

All told, the digging portion has taken us about a week of working evenings and weekends and Adam’s lunch breaks. So maybe about 20 man hours? (Now that I say that out loud, that is a ridiculous amount of time to spend digging a hole that’s just going to be filled in again in a few days. Blech.)

Side note: I love the photo below because, as a friend pointed out, it looks like Adam is just lounging while I do all the work. Which is pretty much the opposite of how it went down. I swear I contributed! Mostly by getting water and catching escaped cats, but it was something.

In the immortal words of Leslie Knope: “Everything hurts and I’m dying.”

I can’t wait to sit on the finished patio when it’s finally done 2 decades from now.

P.S. If you have to dig a gigantic hole, I highly recommend doing it the day before a holiday that predominantly revolves around sugar. I will eat all the Easter candy and I will not feel guilty! Woooooooooo!

19 thoughts on “I Dug A Hole (Or Yard Work Is Hard And Everything Hurts)

  1. I was talking to a guy on Friday night and you can imagine the face I made when I asked what his hobbies were and he said “Going to the gym.” I was about a millisecond short of making the sign of the cross and pushing him away chanting ‘THE POWER OF THE CROSS COMPELS YOU.’

    I mean honestly. There’s no excuse.

    Good work on the garden!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. If we can get it finished, you’ll definitely see the finished product. Between the weather and the sheer size of the flagstone, it might be another month before it’s done though.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. I have so much room for yard improvements and such little motivation to make it happen. Lol. With that being said, I loved your post. I’m just going to live my yard working wants vicariously through you, if that’s ok. Haha. Your post was funny and entertaining. Loved it.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I agree.. going to the gym can be torture. I have personally grown to need it and enjoy the progress. I love the progress your doing on the yard! I look forward to having a home so I can do some yard work, apartment living is not great! Lol take care! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s definitely hard work, but I actually do prefer it to working out inside. I have trouble maintaining motivation when I don’t have any immediate results to show for the effort I put in. With the yard work, you have something to show all of your hard work – even after the first few minutes.

      Liked by 1 person

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