A friend recently asked me why I haven’t included joining a gym as part of my “trying new hobbies” blog. So let me be clear, for everyone who doesn’t know me (and probably those who do as well) – I do not consider working out a hobby. Why, you may ask?

BECAUSE EXERCISE IS TORTURE.

Just wanted to make sure we were clear on that front.

The Garden

Moving right along, all plant-like things continue to grow inside, despite my cat’s best efforts to make sure that didn’t happen. I pretty much haven’t stuck to any of my calendars and have been avoiding transplanting my seedlings when I need to but they seem to be doing alright in spite of having me as their caretaker.

The good news though is that it’s been in the 70s and 80s for a few weeks now. (I mean in the long run, 80 degrees in April is probably a harbinger of doom for the planet, but for right now it means we get to do outside projects. So yay!) When we bought the house, it was obvious that the previous owners were fairly elderly and hadn’t been able to keep up much with taking care of the garden. As such, we’re pretty much starting from -10 in trying to de-weed all the garden beds around the house and get the creeping charlie under control.

To start, I (aka Adam) dug up everything in the existing beds next to the house. Then I put down new mulch and installed a beautiful brick border all by myself (with help from Adam). The border lasted about 34 minutes before the invasive weeds in our yard started to poke through the mulch. (This is why we can’t have nice things.) Also, I just found out that not all bulbs are winter-hardy and they have to be dug up in the fall. What the hell, Mother Nature??? Fall is for raking. Not digging. (Both of which I hate.) Really wish someone would’ve told me that before I bought 100 dahlias and gladiolus at Costco.

The Patio

And since I would rather avoid digging as much as possible, we’ve also decided that this summer’s big project will be digging a giant hole. Oh joy!

Adam and I have decided to install a patio below our 2nd story deck and because we hate ourselves, it’s going to be about 400 square feet. We also decided to ignore the advice of every single one of our friends and do all the digging ourselves. By hand. (Pro tip: Do it once to say that you did it and then never do it again. Heavy machinery exists for a reason. Mostly to make sure my body never hurts like this ever again.)

On the plus side, our only expense has really been material. (A LOT of material. No joke, we ordered 5 tons of stone and 6 tons of gravel.) That being said, this patio will last forever and everyone will be forced to sit on it anytime they come over to our house. And they will enjoy it, dammit!!!

All told, the digging portion has taken us about a week of working evenings and weekends and Adam’s lunch breaks. So maybe about 20 man hours? (Now that I say that out loud, that is a ridiculous amount of time to spend digging a hole that’s just going to be filled in again in a few days. Blech.)

Side note: I love the photo below because, as a friend pointed out, it looks like Adam is just lounging while I do all the work. Which is pretty much the opposite of how it went down. I swear I contributed! Mostly by getting water and catching escaped cats, but it was something.

I can’t wait to sit on the finished patio when it’s finally done 2 decades from now.

P.S. If you have to dig a gigantic hole, I highly recommend doing it the day before a holiday that predominantly revolves around sugar. I will eat all the Easter candy and I will not feel guilty! Woooooooooo!